This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
