Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
