If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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