just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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