you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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