is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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