if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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