i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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