Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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