i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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