Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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