My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
