please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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