There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are all done wearing pants today
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
