the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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