I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Houston, we have a blender
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
