alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
