tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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