whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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