is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
