hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
