You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
