I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
