it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
