So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
