That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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