The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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