the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
