Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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