The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
