omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
