allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
