Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so let's talk penis.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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