I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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