sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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