ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
