Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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