i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This baby is an asshole
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
