Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
