i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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