So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
