3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
