wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
