She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
