Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
