The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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