yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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