Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
