I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like death gave me a hand job
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
