I wanna bring you to show and tell
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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