Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
